Today’s whispers are dreaming of Ryan Babel

Christian Eriksen is one of the outstanding talents in Europe and Brendan Rogers one of the outstanding human beings, so it therefore stands to reason that the two should be united in insitting opposition. Apparently, Eriksen “fits the profile” of player that Liverpool want to sign by virtue of being young and good at football, whereas other clubs are pursuing geriatrics who are good at Kalooki, so it’s virtually a done deal. Should the unthinkable happen, and Eriksen decides that Liverpool do not fit the profile of club for which he would like to play, then the club will switch its attention to Hatem Ben Arfa and Henrikh Mkhitaryan and hope that they have nothing better to do.

And that is not, apparently, all. Rodgers is quoted as “saying” that he would like to augment Liverpool’s squad “with” “three or four” signings “this summer”, and after the roaring success of last year’s marquee purchase, Joe Allen, he would like to return to Swansea and liberate Ashley Williams – whom he has likened to Baresi, Beckenbauer and Brendan Rodgers combined. Martin Skrtel, though, may be on his way out of Liverpool. “He has not played as much as expected,” announced his agent Karol Csonto, “by virtue of him not being very good,” he neglected to continue. “As for the interest from other clubs, this is normal for a player on the level of Skrtel” who is reportedly the finest Call of Duty player in all of Slovakia.

Not content with the Manuel Almunia, Lukasz Fabianski, Vito Mannone and Wojciech Szczesny-shaped notches that already reside on his bedpost, gifted goalkeeper-spotter Arsène Wenger is ready to sign another one – which he hopes will be Barcelona’s Victor Valdés. Valdes is said to be refusing to sign a new contract, but is also a target for Anzhi Makhachkala, whom he will join should he decide to retire. Barcelona permitting Valdés to leave would surprise those who expect David De Gea to remain at Manchester United for a further season before his inevitable extrication to Catalonia.

“Believe in God Timothy” read the t-shirt worn by George Weah at the end of the 2000 FA Cup final, and after 13 long and arduous years searching for a deity of that name, the Mill is shattered to discover that it was in fact a message to Weah’s young son. Quite why he was unable to pass the message on face-to-face is unclear, but given his son’s prodigious ability to read at age zero, it’s no surprise that he has been taken on trial by Chelsea now that he is a teenager. “‘My dad was one of the greatest players and I want to follow in his footsteps. But I also want to make a name for myself. I want to be Timothy Weah, be myself, play my game and still follow in his footsteps while I’m doing that.” The Mill shares his sentiments precisely.

Chelsea are also in the market for a slightly older striker, “ready to hijack” a move that West Ham haven’t made for Vitesse Arnhem striker Wilfried Bony. Known for his warrior spirit and terrier mentality, the player is valued at £12m, and “has drawn comparisons with Didier Drogba” – no doubt from those who have watched both players extensively and because of the uncanny similarity of their playing styles. Anyway, Bony’s agent was supposedly at Stamford Bridge on Monday of this week in order to propose a transfer. Similarly, and by freakish coincidence, the Mill arrived at Columbia University at the very same second, in order to propose itself for a Pulitzer.

As well as challenging Liverpool for the rights to Christian Eriksen, Spurs are interested in signing Matej Vydra from Watford. Named Championship player of the year last Sunday, his loan is one of several through which the division is being distorted – in midweek he scored a brace for the Czech Republic. Watford were almost able to secure his permanent signing from Udinese in January, “but with the Football League looking into loan regulations and bringing a separate third-party ownership case against the club, paperwork dragged.” Naughty paperwork!

Oh, and one last one. Frank Lampard would like José Mário dos Santos Mourinho Félix back at Chelsea, and Frank Lampard to be offered a coaching role on retirement. For its part, the Mill hopes that this comes to pass because it hopes that everything Frank Lampard desires to come to pass, because he deserves it.

A news article on 2013-03-29 09:54:00 from: The Guardian

Read the full article here.

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