A late own goal gifted Liverpool victory at Tynecastle

Just over a year ago, Heart of Midlothian trooped out of the Tynecastle tunnel for their biggest European match since facing Bayern Munich in the quarter finals of the 1989 Uefa Cup. It was a Europa League qualifier against Tottenham Hotspur, and within 13 minutes they were two goals down. The game ended 5-0. Ah well.

But after waiting 13 years for a chance to prove themselves on the big stage, another’s come along for Hearts in… well, one-thirteenth of the time. Tonight they take on Liverpool, one of these here Battles of Britain, and an opportunity to claw back a bit of cross-border dignity. Can they give the English favourites a metaphorical smack in the mouth? Or will Brendan Rodgers’ work in progress deliver the Edinburgh giants a figurative toe-punt in the stones?

Heart of Midlothian, who threw away a two-goal lead against Inverness Caley Thistle at the weekend: MacDonald, Ryan McGowan, Webster, Zaliukas, Grainger, Paterson, Barr, Taouil, Novikovas, Templeton, Sutton.
Subs: Enckelman, Robinson, Driver, Gordon Smith, Dylan McGowan, McHattie, Carrick.

Liverpool, who were getting walloped at West Bromwich Albion while Hearts were losing the place here: Reina, Kelly, Carragher, Agger, Robinson, Henderson, Adam, Spearing, Shelvey, Borini, Sterling.
Subs: Jones, Coates, Downing, Lucas, Allen, Flanagan, Morgan.

Referee: Florian Meyer (Germany)

The reason for Andy Carroll’s absence: He is off to Newcastle United in a £43.71 deal felt a slight twinge in his hamstring yesterday morning. Ooyah, oof, that nips. Nothing serious, insists Brendan Rodgers, and in any case he’s perfectly happy to field Fabio Borini and stick 18-year-old Adam Morgan on the bench.

The teams are out! Hearts take to the field in their fancy new white away kit. Liverpool are in their fancy new black away kit. None of this is right, is it? “Your reference to Hearts last having a decent run in Europe 13 years ago got me thinking about a text I received from a mate earlier today,” begins Adam Harper. “Carter the Unstoppable Sex Machine are playing Brixton Academy later this year, with support from Cud and Ned’s Atomic Dustbin, a bill that wouldn’t have looked out of place in 1989. Prior to today I might have thought that bill as unlikely in 2012 as Hearts making a good fist of things with the Europa League. As a LFC fan I’m hoping it isn’t some sort of bizarre omen.”

And we’re off! Liverpool set the ball rolling, and immediately punt it forward into the arms of new dad MacDonald. So much for that all-new possession game.

2 min: Sterling goes on a skedaddle down the left, but is dispatched into touch by McGowan. From the resulting throw, Adam swings a boot at the ball in the simple style, the white orb sailing dismally into the stand behind.

4 min: All a bit shapeless at the moment. Taouil lifts a long ball forward towards Sutton, who wins the header against Carragher but was all elbows in doing so, and is pulled up for a foul. “So tonight we’re going to see Charlie Adam’s unique interpretation of tiki taka?” wonders Phil Sawyer. “As a Liverpool supporter my hopes aren’t high. Unless tiki taka has evolved to somehow get the best out of head down ponderous running at the defence ignoring your team mates before shinning it ten metres wide of goal. Oh, and while I’m here I hope we can put all that talk of me being a crack shot with a rifle during the Olympic coverage behind us. It was, of course, merely harmless #banter and in no way an indication of how things might go if you start being too nasty about my beloved Reds.”

5 min: Dear Phil Sawyer, Liverpool are stroking it around like Barcelona. Charlie Adam like a cross between Lionel Messi and a tube of black pudding.

7 min: Sorry, Phil, but there goes that Total Football fantasy. Carragher, attempting to play it around the back like Beckenbauer, fluffs a short pass back towards Reina, and is this close to letting Sutton in on goal. Luckily for the Liverpool vice-captain, Reina is quickly out of his area, and cleans up.

9 min: With cheap cracks, we have of course ensured Adam has a good game. Here he advances on the Hearts area, and 30 yards out attempts to thread a low shot into the bottom-right corner. It’s a very decent effort from such a long way out, but always covered by MacDonald. However, the keeper can only parry the ball out, allowing Borini to latch onto it and win a corner. Nothing comes of the set piece, though.

10 min: A corner for Hearts now, won down the right by Templeton. Liverpool clear, but the ball’s soon coming back at them down the inside-right channel. Novikovas sends a dipping half-volley towards the top-left corner, forcing Reina to back pedal and claw the ball out from under the bar. Great save, but even better attempt. Another corner for Hearts, but nothing’s doing this time.

13 min: Hearts were two goals down against Spurs by this point last year, but they look very confident tonight. On the edge of the area, after some useful bustling by Templeton, Sutton spins and sends a low shot just wide left of goal. Agger and Carragher were faffing around quite a bit there. This is promising from the home side.

15 min: This is a lovely, open game. Liverpool don’t look particularly confident at the back, attempting as they are to pass the ball upfield in little triangles, as opposed to putting their foot through it. Whenever one of their players does so in a panic, you sense they feel a sense of betrayal. “Matters have already improved for Liverpool as the wretched Downing is not in the team,” opines Lou Roper. “Is there, perhaps, a team in Finland or some other faraway place that might take him on extended loan? If Charlie Adam avoids trying to ‘tackle’, I shall be quite satisfied. Roll on, new broom!”

17 min: Hearts are by some distance the better side so far. Templeton, who has been very busy, careers down the inside-left channel before taking an ambitious hoick at the top-right corner. It’s always going wide, but not by that much, and the crowd gasp accordingly. “Many players lose a yard of pace as they enter into the latter stages of their career, but it takes a special effort to contrive to lose it from your passing as well,” writes the super-sharp-shootin’ Phil Sawyer. “Well done Carra! I’m going to have to turn my sights on myself if I carry on like this, aren’t I?”

20 min: Liverpool knock it around the middle of the park awhile. They go absolutely nowhere, but after being forced onto the back foot for the last ten minutes or so, you fancy that’s not really the point. “As a supporter of the world-famous Dundee United FC I am in a win-win situation regarding tonight’s game,” writes Simon McMahon. “Either a Scottish team does well and ‘improves the co-efficient’, or I have the satisfaction of seeing a rival well and truly humped at home and suffer a ‘European hangover’ that affects their domestic form. I’m siding towards the latter due to the fact that my own team finished above Hearts in the league last season, who only find themselves in this position due to beating a pub team sometimes known as Hibernian FC in the cup final.”

22 min: Spearing sprays a gorgeous diagonal ball out left to release Sterling. The young winger cuts inside, shifting the ball past the full back, and looking to curl one into the bottom-right corner, his trademark move. Webster is out quickly to close the shot down, and the danger is over.

24 min: Barr brings down Adam, as the latter looks to bomb down the centre at what he calls pace. It’s a cynical challenge, though whether it’s worthy of the yellow card that’s flourished is a moot point.

25 min: McGowan, under pressure from Sterling, is this close to poking the ball into his own net, his panicked passback squirming just wide left of goal. The corner is a waste of time.

27 min: McGowan goes on a long-distance sashay down the middle of the park. As he reaches the Liverpool area, he opens his body up to shoot, but manages to tackle himself by stumbling as he does so, and the chance is gone. Liverpool’s back four were back pedalling furiously there, turned around and all at sea, with only Kelly in any sort of position to clear up. I suspect Liverpool are going to let in quite a lot of goals this season as they look to change to an expansive style, more than they’ve been used to during the Houllier-Benitez decade, anyway.

29 min: Sterling tries the cutting-in-from-the-left-and-having-a-look-at-the-far-corner-with-the-old-right-peg trick again. It’s not a bad trick, you know. MacDonald parries.

31 min: Liverpool are beginning to impose themselves on this game. Henderson feeds the ball down the right to Shelvey, who shuttles it down the channel for Borini. The young Italian looks to get a snapshot goalwards, but his effort is bundled out for a futile corner. Well, that’s Henderson kicked the ball, anyway. He’d been pretty quiet up until then. “I guess that is quite normal,” writes Bryan Tisinger. “I would look up how much Liverpool paid for him compared to what Newcastle paid for Tiote, Ben Arfa, Ba, Cisse, and Cabaye, but then I would be very sick.”

33 min: First Charlie Adam attempts to stuff the cheap shots down our throats, now it’s Jordan Henderson, who finds space down the right and curls in a simply majestic pass towards Borini. He’s released the striker into the area, splitting the Hearts back line into small pieces, but Borini leans back and misses his kick altogether. Pass of the match. Followed by fresh-air shot of the match.

37 min: It’s not a good game, it’s not a bad game. The teams are at least trying to play some football; they’re just not making much of a fist of it.

39 min: Borini looks to zip clear down the inside-left channel, latching onto a clumpish misplaced backpass by Taouil. Inexplicably, the linesman raises his flag for offside. Borini waves his hands around in the stereotypical fashion.

41 min: Hearts have been quiet, with Tynecastle sinking into a similar funk, but everyone wakes up pretty damn quickly when Templeton has a sudden lash from the inside-right channel. His belt isn’t far over the bar, close enough to have seen Reina scamper across his line.

42 min: A penalty shout for Hearts as a Webster header clanks off Carragher’s back. Nope.

43 min: Borini bustles down the right and wins a corner. Hearts clear, but Adam is soon coming back at them, dancing down the right and hammering a low shot towards the bottom-left corner. It’s hacked out for a second corner in quick succession, but this one goes nowhere.

45 min: Taouil rakes an absolutely useless crossfield pass towards the Liverpool left wing. Sterling, at speed, steals off with the ball brilliantly, and tears down the inside-left channel. It’s two on one. Sterling rolls an unselfish pass inside to Borini, who should score, but belts a powerful effort off the right-hand post. The ball clanks miles back upfield. Hearts survive. Somehow.

HALF TIME: Heart of Midlothian 0-0 Liverpool. And that’s that for the first 45 minutes. Hearts leave the pitch lucky not to have conceded at the death, Borini trudging off instead with his head in his hands, but on balance the home side deserve to be on terms.

HALF-TIME GOLF: A new feature: football clubs as golfers, brought to you by Simon McMahon. “Liverpool FC – Tom Watson, hugely successful in the 70s and 80s, now living off past glories, can show glimpses of past form but still carry significant public affection. Hearts – Greg Norman, occasionally brilliant with a few notable successes but best remembered for what they didn’t win.” So where are we going with Rangers? Ian Baker-Finch?

And we’re off again! The teams take to the pitch as the crowd sing along to Hey Jude. They’re belting it out. Unlike latter-day Paul McCartney, they don’t attempt to crowbar the na-na-nas into a 15/8 time signature. The ball’s rolling again, Hearts having applied the necessary force.

47 min: Hearts are obviously of the opinion that Liverpool are here for the taking, flying into every challenge since the restart. They’re closing the visitors down with some vigour.

49 min: A quiet enough start to this half, though Hearts will be happier with it. Tum te tum. Philosophy, anyone? “In what ways do Liverpool live off past glories?” asks Ian Copestake. “This has been a question that bugs me when this cliche is used. It means nothing. No Liverpool fan can ever mention a previous cup win, or a favourite player from those years?”

50 min: Borini’s flagged offside again, and once more he appears to be slightly unlucky, springing clear down the inside-right channel but being hauled back by the officials.

53 min: Sterling pounds (yeah) down the left wing, and diddles his way to the byline, winning a corner that’s wasted. A lovely run, though, by a very promising young player.

54 min: Sterling and Borini exchange a one-two down the inside-left channel. Sterling is inches from getting a shot away in the area, but MacDonald is out quickly to smother. Sterling claims he’s been clipped as he chases the ball, but the referee is having none of it. “Newcastle are, of course, Sergio,” writes the ever-correct Gary Naylor. “Inspiring love and hollow laughter to taste, but never won anything of note and never likely to either.”

56 min: Under pressure from the bustling Sutton, Agger heads clear dismally. Paterson latches onto the bouncing ball and, down the inside-right channel, heads into the area before hammering a shot from a tight angle over the bar. Marco van Basten would have struggled to score from there, but a decent effort nonetheless. The Hearts faithful raise the volume in response.

59 min: Novikovas had one mighty dig in the first half, and now he has another, fighting his way in from the right and unleashing a superlative effort which flies over the bar from 25 feet. The crowd are giving it plenty now.

62 min: Robinson is replaced by Downing. A straight swap! He’ll be playing at left back! Well, they’ve tried him everywhere else, I suppose.

65 min: Webster gives Borini a bang on the coccyx. Meanwhile a tug of love is developing over Sergio Garcia, as Simon McMahon wants him for Dundee United: “Early promise followed by heart-breaking, but not unexpected, tragi-comic-farce. Hope followed by despair, resignation, anger, forgiveness and then hope again. And love, lots of love.”

68 min: Spearing is replaced by Allen.

69 min: Adam takes a hack from 25 yards, but the ball deflects off two Hearts backsides, and rolls benignly through to a yawning MacDonald.

71 min: McGowan battles into space down the right. It’s a fantastic run, and he’s pulled back cynically by a lumbering Adam, but the Hearts man stays on his feet and powers on anyway, but his eventual cross is way too deep. Novikovas somehow fashions a corner, but nothing comes from it, Shelvey mopping up calmly. Meanwhile here’s an existential cry for help from Niall Mullen: “In league terms at least I live off past Liverpool glories. 22 (twenty two) years! Who knew then that the inspiration behind that win, Ronnie Rosenthal, would become a byword for terrible misses? That the manager would soon resign only to return to the club 20 years later and almost completely expunge his deeds with one season of almost comical mismanagement? That club legend Graeme Souness would manage the club into a pit that would take nearly a decade to crawl out of? That the club would run through more managers than Liz Taylor husbands? That they would eventually be owned by not one but two lots of avaristic Yank plutocrats? If I’d known all of that at the time maybe the 11 year old me would have chased girls instead of following football. Anyone know where I can get a time-travel-enabled De Lorean?”

74 min: Liverpool spend a couple of minutes stroking it around the back. Some of their players look more comfortable doing so than others. But Hearts are perfectly happy with this, and whenever they do get the ball, Sutton is causing Carragher and Agger all sorts of problems.

78 min: GOAL! Heart of Midlothian 0-1 Liverpool. This came out of nothing. Allen sprays the ball out right to Kelly, who, shoulders held high, bombs down the wing like Ted McMinn. His low cross looks for Borini, racing towards the six-yard box, but Webster beats him to it and turns the ball past his own keeper. So unfortunate. If he hadn’t got there first, the Liverpool striker would probably have converted anyway, so what can you do.

79 min: Driver comes on for Templeton.

82 min: That’s deflated Tynecastle somewhat. Can Hearts respond? They’ve made Liverpool, supposed clear favourites, look uncomfortable on several occasions this evening, so it’s far from a pipe dream. Meanwhile here’s Sir Richard, and he’s three in the hole: “Chelsea are Stewart Cink, taking all the romance out of the game. Everton are Miguel Angel Jimenez, always around the place, great fun to watch, never win the big one. Blackburn are Ben Curtis. One glorious victory then real life took over.:

84 min: Coming in from the left, Sterling looks for the top right, but gets too much purchase on his lofted wedge of a shot. “If we are talking past glories, they don’t have to be from 20 years ago,” sighs Graeme Neill. “I’d give anything to have a midfield pairing of Mascherano and Alonso rather than Jay Spearing and Charlie Adam.”

86 min: Allen romps into the Hearts half, eating up the yards before sliding a pass out wide left to Sterling. The young winger scampers across the face of the Hearts box, before checking back and looking to thread a low fizzer into the bottom-left corner. It’s a weak and tired effort, though. Hearts, who have been staunch, don’t deserve to be on the end of a two-goal defeat. “Can Everton be Johnny Miller, albeit 10 years later?” pleads Gary Naylor. “Looked like winning everything for about four years, then didn’t.”

88 min: Two changes for Hearts: Novikovas and Barr off, Carrick and Robinson on. A loose ball in the Liverpool area. Driver swivels, and gets a shot away from the penalty spot, but can’t get any power in his effort, and Reina smothers it like a wet blanket.

90 min: A loose ball in the midfield. Charlie Adam runs away from it. That is preposterous. And nearly so costly. Paterson latches onto a ball falling near the right-hand corner of the Liverpool area – and volleys a stupendous effort towards the bottom-left corner. It’s flying in, and Reina – who hasn’t had the busiest of evenings – is sharp enough to parry it clear at full stretch. That’s great football all round, except for the bit involving Adam. Meanwhile here’s our Arab pal Simon McMahon: “Dundee FC – Maurice Flitcroft.”

90 min +1: There will be three added minutes. One’s already elapsed.

90 min +2: Borini, who has settled in well at Liverpool already, picking up the woodwork habit, is replaced by Morgan.

FULL TIME: Heart of Midlothian 0-1 Liverpool. And that’s that for the evening. Just about the right result on the balance of play, but Hearts put in a shift, and made Liverpool work for everything. On another night, you never know. Maybe if Novikovas’s early effort had found the top-left corner… but as it is, Liverpool remain hot favourites to make the group stages of the Europa League.

A news article on 2012-08-23 20:34:00 from: The Guardian

This news item has been reproduced from today’s media. It does not necessarily represent the opinion of Kop That.