GUARDIAN – Football transfer rumours: Mario Balotelli leaving Liverpool for Sampdoria?

Today’s fluff duels the magic force (‘Here I am, this is me …’)You know the Rumour Mill as an all-singing, all-smiling transfer tattle generator. And it is. Most of the time. But sometimes, just sometimes, its goat gets taken. Twitter will do it. People who chew with their mouths open too. Not to mention those who blather about their friends’ love lives on a busy bus on a Sunday afternoon in north London. But none, repeat none, bring forth the angry tears more so than those who talk at concerts. Seriously people. What is the world coming to when a person can’t go to a gig and shut their cake hole for an hour or two while the wonderment of music unfolds before their very ears? Oh, how the Mill wishes to weep but sorrow is stupid and there are lies to be made up. Speaking of. Let’s go.First up is Liverpool. Brendan Rodgers is sick to the back (of his very white) teeth with Mario Balotelli finally getting his back side into gear and scoring important goals, as well as contributing to the team, and so he has decided to flog him to the 45th caller who rings up the club and shouts the phrase that pays – the night old stars twinkled again – down the phone. In order not to miss out, Sampdoria charged their phone over night and typed Liverpool’s digits into the first eight speed dial entries on their phone. Balotelli will be a bit reluctant at first but when Sampdoria tell him how nice it is to stroll down the Via XX Settembre with a mint and strawberry ice-cream to hand and sit in the Piazza De Ferrari and watch the weather go by before a nice seafood meal in one of the many restaurants by the port, Balotelli will get nostalgic for his Italy and agree right away. Brendan will pretend that he is sad to see him go but smart cookie that he is, Brendan already has a replacement ready to go in the shape of Luciano Vietto. The 21-year old Villarreal striker has no caps for Argentina, has had one decent half-season and very little experience playing at the highest level and so sounds just like the sort of proven forward that Liverpool are in need of. Continue reading…